Fake news alert: Team Media hoping for a miracle with virtual footy training

Friday 23 June 2017

Team Media have resorted to ‘virtual training’ in the hope they can conjure a miracle tomorrow when they take on the ActewAGL Allstars in the charity touch football match at GIO Stadium.

The annual grudge match will be played at half-time in the Raiders versus Broncos NRL game, which kicks off at 5.30pm.

According to Walshie – the Allstars stalwart of Queanbeyan Tigers fame – the line-up for this year’s Team Media is stacked with dubiously-credentialed media interns and he’s demanding the option of a ‘fake news’ umpire ruling in the event the game goes south for the Allstars.

“But that’s highly unlikely given the strong game form this year with former Raiders legends Jason Croker, Alan Tongue and Ken Nagas on the paddock with the good guys.

“The boys have got 780 games between them which is a solid milestone… but it gets a huge boost if you count my 106 games for the Queanbeyan Tigers,” remarked Paul, the humble Director of Marketing and Corporate Affairs for ActewAGL.

“We’ve also got WNBL champs and former Caps players Jess Bibby and Carly Wilson, who both pack a punch with 757 WNBL games between them,” he sniggered.

Walshie said Ben Pollock’s Team Media included some suspicious starters who declared to be media interns, including Rob McCarthy, Vaughan Winnel, Izaiah Lomax and Elise Wilson.

“But we’re not concerned in the least, because if you really look at the form guide for this lot, it’s built on the strength of virtual training.

“This is nothing short of a Ben Pollock bluff, just like their fake journalistic credentials and their invisible footy form.”

As game sponsor ActewAGL is thrilled to be working with Ben and the Raiders to put together the half-time friendly.

“As well as being a classy demo of touch footy prowess, this charity match is a lot of fun and a great way to raise money for the Give me 5 for Kids campaign – with ActewAGL donating $500 for every try scored.”

The Allstars, who need no introduction

Photo caption: The Allstars, who need no introduction.

Allstars v Team Media line up and game form

ActewAGL Allstars

  • Jason Croker (no introduction needed – 318 games)
  • Croker’s son (A son of a gun – no match form required)
  • Alan Tongue (no introduction needed – 220 games)
  • Kenny Nagas (no introduction needed – 142 games)
  • Jess Bibby (no introduction needed – 394 games)
  • Carly Wilson (no introduction needed – 363 games)
  • Paul Walshe (no introduction needed – 106 games with the mighty Queanbeyan Tigers)

Team Media

  • Ben Pollack – Canberra Raiders (11-years watching the Raiders training from his office without ever stepping out to kick a ball)
  • David Polkinghorne – Canberra Times (Once watched a game of Gaelic football)
  • Rosie Kingsun – Channel Nine Canberra (Used to catch footys after Cowboys training in Townsville while Jonathan Thurston practiced his goal kicking)
  • Caitlyn Chalmers – WIN TV (C-Grade runner up at CSU Bathurst annual touch competition. Set up three tries… for the opposition)
  • Media interns: Rob McCarthy, Vaughan

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